Rainmen
By Marcus Berkmann                      published 1995 by Abacus

February (2001) - it's winter and I am off skiing, but I must take a book to read (a) on the plane and (b) during those long evenings of so-called apres-ski, i.e. that 20 minute period between eating chocolate and drinking the Chateau Crystal vin rough and collapsing into a fitful, alcohol and dehydration- spoiled sleep.  

I had read this before, about 4 years ago and remember it as being the funniest book about cricket I have ever read. I must write a review on it for idontlikecricket.co.uk. (But don't mention that it is Cricket's Fever Pitch, even though it is). Hang on a minute - I remember this book as being really funny.  Not so good second time around, eh?  So I discard it (temporarily) and pick up the Readers Digest guide to rawlplugs.

March - England are just in the process of beating Sri Lanka in the test series, umpires and over-zealous appealing and all.  Boned up on Rawlplugs, and encouraged by Thorpe's batting in Colombo, train journeys on Connex South-East- Russia are once again enlivened by Berkmann's masterpiece.  Before long I am getting strange looks from people reading their Metro free morning newspaper on the way home in the evening.  My wife is telling me to stop tittering in bed.  I have re-discovered words such as "stonedrift" (what fielders do when the captain is not micro-positioning them each delivery).  I now know why I wear that odd-coloured hooped cricket cap when playing for both the side whose colours it represents and the one I play for more often whose colours it doesn't. And why I am the only one  wearing it when I play for the former. 

And poor old Chris Tavare - cricket's accountant who did really want to be a lion tamer. 

Mr Berkmann is a genius after all:   Rainmen is absolutely spot on.  Other books tell you about great batsmen or the social significance of the great game.  Mr Berkmann tells us why we, the average club cricketer, set our alarm clocks for 5am to hear Alec Stewart being given out to one that pitched a foot outside leg stump.  And deep down you really know the answer yourself, too.

© idontlikecricket.co.uk    2001